Musings of a Naked Child........

It has been a long time since I have written anything....anything at all.  Since my last  post I have had another child. Another boy. A busy, screaming, laughing boy.  A boy who has followed in his brother's footsteps in some ways.......like being Naked...every chance he gets.  If he doesn't have a onsie on that snaps closed , within minutes of being dressed he disappears and come back naked.  He twirls and dances, shows everyone his business and runs like the wind when I try to catch him to put his diaper back on.  Today as I was chasing him, he relieved himself on the kitchen floor.  As I went flying through the air (slipping on the floor that I now have to mop) I wonder how hard I will hit the ground, if I will need my 5 year old to call 911, and if and when I do get up if my son will live to see another day.............

Time really flies by.......

Wow! It has been quite a long time since I have posted anything. I guess blogging isn't very high on my list of priorities these days.
We are all doing well, getting ready for the long long long winter. It has started to get pretty cold and it has snowed a couple of times even though I begged and begged for it not to happen.
Halloween is coming up right around the corner and Grammy and Pappy got Elijah a Football player costume from the Broncos game last night. Elijah is excited, to say the least.
This year he will have a better grasp of trick-or-treating now that he is the ripe old age of 3.

Here are a couple of pictures of the past couple of months of our growing boy.

Maybe inspiration will hit me and I will blog more...........we shall see
xoxoxoxo
t

Sometimes you have to tell a sad story.

This past few months have been pretty difficult for me. There has been so much going on and I feel like I may have put my emotions aside so it would be possible for me to "go on" with my life.

I have realized that going on with my life is not as easy as I thought it would be.

In Early March we had a miscarriage. It was terrible. It was painful. It was messy. I took a week off of work and then went on with my life like nothing had happened..at least on the outside.

Last week we found out that again we had lost a baby. I had to have a d&c on Friday, which was not as easy as I had hoped. The good part about it is that I didn't have to see anything. The bad part about it is that I didn't have to see anything.

I have a bicorunate uterus. Which means it is shaped like a heart. A friend of mine wrote to me "A heart shaped uterus? How can such a lovely shape cause such sorrow?" I kind of think anything that a heart is involved with causes so much pain as well as happiness.

It has been 3 days since my procedure and the cramping is subsiding but the emptiness seems to be creeping in, no matter how hard I am fighting it.

I have a little boy to think of, I can not take time out to be selfish and sad. I have to make sure he is ok. I have playing to do and housework to do. My heart isn't in it though. As much as I try to push myself to do my normal thinks, it is not working. I can't seem to bring myself to catch up laundry or do the dishes. I feel like it will all still be there later.

I had a terrible experience with the doctor's office which has not helped my emotional state. I was made to feel like it was just another "oh, well" situation. It is far from that. These were my children. These were my flesh and blood. Why would someone try to downplay that? What is wrong with people?

So many people that I know, have gone through this very sad situation. I guess I never thought that I would have these problems. Coming from a huge family, it never occurred to me that this could happen, until it happened.

I am not mad or jealous of my friends that have had good pregnancies, because I have had one myself. Maybe I am only meant to have one child on this earth, and for that I am blessed and grateful.

I just wish God would reveal just a little tiny bit of his plan for me so I could see some kind of light at the end of the tunnel.

For now, there is no light at the end of the tunnel, just an oncoming train.

xo
T

The zoo is always fun:)

Last week Elijah, My friend Becca, and her daughter Sofia went to the Denver Zoo. We had a really good time!

I have been very bad about blogging lately. So sorry. There has been a lot going on! More to come soon:)

xo

T

I am still alive, I promise.

Things have been very crazy around the Losh house these days. Sam and I have both been working every available hour that we can, which leaves us very little time with each other.

The Destroyer got his first real injury this past week. His new job path is "potion master". This boy fills everything up with water that can hold water. He puts toothpaste, shampoo, 25 dollar jars of saffron, mouthwash, ketchup...anything he can manage to sneak by me into his mix. He then finds another container and swishes the potion back and forth...this is normally great fun....

I was making Chili and had opened a couple of cans of whole tomatoes. The Destroyer swiped a can a went hauling ass into my bathroom where he thought he would "work". I heard a scream of death and ran into my bathroom. He was there flailing his hand and red sauce was going everywhere...I then realized that it wasn't sauce.

I tried to get the bleeding to stop for almost a half an hour. I consulted my M-I-L and we ran down the street to the doctors office. They squeezed us in immediately.

No stitches, but a nasty deep cut on his right pointer finger. This cut went strait to the bone... yucky.

We still have to bandage it up with a pressure bandage every morning, but all is pretty much back to normal, as normal as we can get at least.

I hope everyone is well and enjoying themselves as much as possible!

xoxo
T

Organized Chaos..

I have been sick since Sunday. I am starting to feel a little bit better, but sleep is all I really want to do.
My house looks like a tornado hit it. For whatever reason, if I am sick, no one can find the trash can or the clothes hamper. The dishwasher becomes invisible and the kitchen counter becomes a place of refuge for a mountain dew graveyard.
I still know where everything is. I can still jump up and find anything that you need. No one else can do these things. I must be a superhero. I wish my superhero powers would kick this sickness out of me so my life can be put back into motion.

I am tired.

I need some DayQuil and a shot of espresso.

Ha.. spell check just tried to change DayQuil to Tequila... that would do as well:)

xo
T

Fun in the snow

kids are awesome.

Elijah likes my boots!

Lovin the web cam! You can see his goose egg really well in this picture!

EVERYONE needs to get a web cam so you can talk to this amazin boy!! He blows my mind everyday. I fall more and more in love with him everyday.

Elijah likes chicken... A LOT .. he always wants chicken

last night I was making chicken and he says..

word for word..

E "Mama chicken??:(jumping up and down)

T "yes baby"

E "Mammaaaa........??"

T "what?E "mamma chicken Wizsha????"(dancing around the kitchen)

T "yes baby"E mamma tatoes??? (very very seriously)

T "mashed tatoes with Gravy!"

E "HECK YEAH, MAMMA!!!! (jumping and dancing and hugging my legs over and over again)

People without kids are really missing out:)

xo

T

-

First "real" haircut

Handsome boy! with a new hairct

Before:

This morning was definitely one for the books.

The destroyer usually sits there and watches me blow dry my hair and waits patiently for his turn.

Today, as I am starting the drying process, I turn to my right and see that he has pulled most of the toilet paper off of the roll and put it in the toilet. Awesome.

He sees me.........I see him............He takes off running like a gazelle and slams right into the half open door of the the bathroom.

This not only really hurts, it really pissed him off that he didn't pull a fast one on me! ha

The worst part is that I couldn't even get mad about the disgusting mess that I have not to clean up, but I sat there holding him and letting him know that everything was OK.

I think this one might have taught him that toilet paper lesson... we will see.

We finally got out of the house and I clearly tell him.."no more shenanigans today, Sir"!

We went to Wells Fargo to deposit Sam's check that FINALLY got here.

They have a giant stuffed HORSE at Wells Fargo.

This is not a good idea, Wells Fargo!

Elijah loved this horse and thought it should be his. He thought this very loudly in the lobby of the bank.

After minimal embarrassment, I convince him that might get one for Christmas and he agrees to leave.

As we are walking out, This sad little boy with a huge goose egg on his forehead turns to say one last goodbye to his horse and SMACK!!!! right into the deposit slip table.!!!!!!! CRAP!!!!!!!!

We made it out of the bank in almost one piece and walk down to the haircutting place.

Nicole was a brave girl, she jumped in at the challenge to cut a 2 year old boys hair.

It really went well until the end and I had to sit in the chair with him in order to finish..

This was not the best of days for our little guy, but he looks super cute!

Our first football game, having kids makes you goofy.

Some of you maybe saying to yourself, I have seen these pictures already...
This is because as my cousin Matt says "Having Kids makes you goofy".
I have posted the full photo album on Kodak gallery and sent them out to most of my family.
I have posted most of the pictures on Myspace and Facebook, for my long lost friends to see.
I am now blogging about them on blogger...
I guess I have to make sure that everyone knows what is going on in my life with out having to actually call anyone.
I love you all! T

Elijah passed out after the exciting game.








































Playing in front of the Stadium "bid rocks"





































Clapping for EVERYONE!!!




























You are getting very sleepy.....................

























yes, we really do things together..
























Broncos running on to the field.
























concern over the overwhelming loudness.. he got used to it and loved it!

























so tired by the end

christmas decorating!

Challenge....

This is why I get zero sleep.............Both of my boys sleep like this.

He LOVES to blowdry his hair... what a freak-o.

Sorry it has taken me so long to post anything! I have been in a funk and really didn't have anything good or exciting to share with anyone:)

Now that things are back to normal, I thought I should post a few pictures of the Destroyer.

Sam got a new job this past week, working for Summit County Recycling. This was the best early Christmas present ever!

Speaking of Christmas, How is it almost here? I can't believe that it will be time to put up our tree this weekend!

I think Elijah is really going to enjoy putting the tree up and decorating. This year will be the best yet, since he will understand a little more and will be able to participate.

Christmas is a difficult time for me, but since Elijah was born it has become a really exciting and meaningful time.

These kids really do take over every aspect of your life. I never thought that I would be able to let go of a lot of the ill feelings that I was harboring deep down.

Elijah has really changed my heart. I finally know what the "Christmas Spirit" is and I actually feel it...

Here is your challenge............tell me why Christmas is important to you............I am waiting..............................................

xo

T

Halloween fun....

This year we took Elijah Trick or Treating for the first time!

He only got scared one time! Alma, CO has an event called "Trick or Trunk". People park at town hall and give out candy from their trunks. So much fun!

Here is our Christmas card:)

Colleen and I are waiting for the kids to come to the truck for candy.

We really had a good time this year. When we got home we had trick or treaters until 8:30.

xo

October is COLD!

The title of this blog has nothing to do with it's content. It is just a statement. A harsh reality that is my life.........cold weather. Yes, the winter is peaking it's ugly face around the corner. The aspen trees are no longer a glorious painting of yellow and orange. Those once mesmerizing leaves, lay dead on the ground of my yard, waiting for someone to rake them up to be sent to their grave.

October has come and it almost half way over, and I have just realized that it is here. I am finally writing 10 on my checks instead of 9. This is a record for me, it usually takes me until the last week of the month to get it right.

The Destroyer is finding more and more creative ways to get into mischief. I think I am managing it with some sort of confidence and consistency. I am still in the middle of turmoil within myself of the correct discipline to administer for different offenses. Hopefully, this time of 'Darkness' will not last tooo long.

The next dilemma.........Halloween.

Should we go out or stay in? Halloween has become such a drunken, reckless night for adults these days. Luckily most people are not out and about at the time of trick or treating.

Some say that we shouldn't let our kids participate in festivities at all because of the 'demonic' blah blah blah.. I say dress up, get candy, get cavities and enjoy being a kid for as long as you can! We all know that I am not a religious fanatic, so those guys can stay in and be grumpy and pray for us sinners out with our kids having a blast!

Last year, we stayed in and handed out candy. The Destroyer, Sam and I really had fun doing that. Our small community really had quite a trick or treating turn out. I am not sure if The Destroyer would 'get' trick or treating. He may just enjoy giving candy to ghosts and goblins all night again. I will let you, my loyal readers, know as soon as we decide! :)

This past weekend we had a birthday dinner for Grammy and Pappy at our house. I made a strawberry custard short cake volcano cake.. I know, I am kickass...:) It actually came out rather well.

I am posting some pics of the cake and also of our future musician, and Sam and The Destroyer playing Star Wars on the Wii.

Hope all is well

xo

T

fun in the fall

elijah, Nina and Toby
















Elijah, Nina, Toby and Leah


















Nina is fearless!




















Posing for Mama




















You would never think that this sweet looking boy would be such a hellion!















































Dillon Dam road on Thursday.







































Tyler, madison and Elijah crashing.